It's your story
and it's my story too.

Friday, May 8, 2009

I've been thinking a lot about love lately...

I've been reading many of your blogs and have been so inspired by what you've been through for love. You've loved and you've been loved. You've been lucky and you've been terribly unlucky. You've expected too little and put up with too much. You've learned so many lessons. You've cried and you've hurt. You've broken hearts and had yours broken. You've silently wondered to yourself if you could survive the pain. You've sworn you couldn't stand to put yourself out there again and risk being hurt even one more time, but you have. You've been brave, you've been hopeful and you've done it all for love again and again.

It's your story and it's my story too.

In my own love story, I've been incredibly foolish and I've been incredibly lonely..., but I built a life for myself, a life that I'm proud of and a life that I love. This life was built for me and by me because I really didn't think I saw a great love in my future (and if it wasn't going to be a great love, a love at least a little like this one, I wasn't sure I wanted to play the game at all). So, I made a life that I could love even if it might always be just me.

So, determined that I was the love of my life, I went to school. I went to school again. I got my Master's Degree. I travelled. I decorated every house I ever lived in to look like the home of my dreams. I made friends and I made more friends. I laughed and I danced (loudly and badly). I wrapped my family around me like a warm blanket. I dressed up and went out. I felt stylish and young and alive. I dated, but I never knew love.

I thought that if this was all there would ever be, it would be enough and it would be lovely.

... but deep down, so far and so deep that I almost couldn't hear it's faint whisper, I heard my heart hope for more... hope, in spite of it all, for love.

I can't know for sure what will happen in the future, but what I do know is so much bigger than what I don't... Everything that has happened, even what sometimes felt like incurable heartache, has led me to the greatest joy I've ever known.

My hope for all of us is that we enjoy the journey of our own love stories because all of it, even the pain, makes us who we are... and, let me tell you, we are lovely.

15 comments:

  1. I love you. I just read your email too.

    "I am the love of my life." I am going to repeat that until I start to believe it, until I don't have to repeat it anymore because it's just a part of me. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

    Thank you for sharing YOUR pain and struggles with us all...especially me. :)
    XOXO

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  2. kathleen! you are amazing. you are SUCH a beautiful person. this made me cry, honestly.

    i agree with everything you said. i thank God often for all the heartbreak and pain i've been through because each time i have been hurt i have learned something that prepared me just a little bit for levi. everything happens for a reason, and everything works together towards something good and beautiful. getting to see little snippets of the big picture is the most incredible part of being alive. thanks for making me take the time to stop and appreciate that today.

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  3. How beautiful! Just what I needed to hear today.

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  4. That was such a beautiful post! Good luck in your efforts and for the rest of us too =)

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  5. I ' L.O.V.E' this.
    and I ' Loved' reading it.

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  6. Wow, that is so beautiful. Very insightful.

    I've always believed that life is YOUR journey and those who enter it "add" to it rather than "complete" it.

    I loved reading this post AND absolutely loved reading about your parents story. I almost teared up. Thats an amazing story.

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  7. i lovee it! that is an amazing post...you are a great writer! lovee your blog. :)

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  8. ohmygoodness! this was inspiring to me because I'm at a place where I need to appreciate those around me and stop worrying about the future blah blah :)

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  9. Fabulous post! Love comes in many forms and I'm just thankful that I've grown up enough to appreciate where it's coming from!

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  10. You have a great way with words! :)

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  11. you are lovely:) I mean it...I absolutely adore you and can't wait until I get to meet you one day.

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  12. Thank you for such kind comments. It really means so much to me!

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  13. Your post is absolutely beautiful...

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  14. very inspiring post! thanks for sharing! let's be hopeful and keep our hearts open. =)

    -Macy
    www.maccyy.blogspot.com

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