Short & Snarky.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

If you've seen me lately and I've been looking off into the distance with a faint smile on my face, you can safely assume that I'm probably fantasizing about future Facebook status updates.

I don't know about you, but Facebook has reconnected me with many people from my past. And while I'm happy to see what they're up to and glance at photos of their children, we often have very little in common outside of a shared past and/or experience.

You know it. I know it. They probably know it.

So, here's the deal. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, no matter how bigoted. I just don't want to hear about it anymore. Oh, you don't like Obama? You're kidding. I couldn't tell from your last 42 updates warning your friends about the country's impending demise.

Not only do I love him, but I honestly think our newest president is the least offensive person to ever hold office in my lifetime. So, just once, just one freaking time, I want it to say this on my Facebook page...

Kathleen thinks you don't like the president because you're racist. No, not you. You. Yeah, right there. I'm talking to you.

Too much?

I am so effing tired of people dressing up their hatred, their homophobia, their classism, racism, sexism, etc., etc., as religion and/or patriotism.

Guess what? I think God - whatever that means to you - would want everyone to have access to health care. Yep, even the poor ones.

How about this for a status update?

Kathleen is pondering WWJD about health care? I think he would only let the rich have it. Yeah, definitely.

Oh, and last, but not least, my favorite fantasy revolves around this little status update...

Kathleen would like to announce that at exactly 3:06 tomorrow afternoon, I am deleting all "friends" that post ignorant, misinformed, hateful rhetoric on their page. Thanks, though. It's been real. I loved all your invitations to play Mafia Wars. Peace out.


  1. it's too bad that your blog doesn't have a 'thumbs up' option, cause I'm pretty sure you'd get a boatload. by the way - after reading this to myself, i read it aloud to bruhannon, which is always a sure sign of a winning post. ;)

  2. I love this so much. I have been thinking the same things about so many people on FB...people I went to church with, etc. You said it so well!

  3. The WWJD fantasy status post is a.w.e.s.o.m.e. Brings some much needed laughter in the middle of this ugly American issue!

  4. Yep.

    I was just having a conversation with a friend about this very thing...


  5. wow. sooooooo tempted to post one of these.
    extreme like--thumbs up

  6. if this were facebook, I would "like" this. haha.

  7. ditto that and don't be surprised if i steal one of your well crafted status updates

  8. OH MY GOSH, I LOVE YOUUUUUUUU! thank you THANK YOU! i just read this aloud to levi because this drives us nuts too. more than nuts, it makes freakin ANGRY. it shows a complete lack of respect for our president. the bible clearly states that we are supposed to respect and pray for our leaders, not protest their inspiring speeches to our schoolchildren. not that americans shouldn't have the right to protest things that they don't believe in, things that they feel are wrong. but come on! obama hasn't even had a chance to DO anything yet. you can't make a judgment on a president until (s)he has held office for at least a year! i'm sick of it. i'm sick of everyone thinking that someone who believes in jesus NEEDS to be a conservative republican. was jesus a conservative? nope. he wasn't ANYTHING. because god doesn't care which political party you subscribe to. he just wants us to LOVE each other and take care of each other. if anything, jesus was a full on radical liberal. why can't people remember this?? why don't people base their "christian" decisions on what christ did and said? why do they go for what the conservative republican said instead? when did christianity get to this point??

    sorry. i just went off. i care.

  9. oh my god, i love you too. i second jasmine's comment. you are amazing for writing this. every word of it, so true. and i think you should actually post those statuses.

  10. Oh my gosh.

    Do it. TOTALLY do it.

    You have to. Esp the last one.

  11. Gab comes out of her room with this LOOK in her eyes and I go "what?!!!" and she tells me to read your post...and here I am. LOVEBUG this is flippin incredible. I don't know what else I can add but to say "LIKE LIKE LIKE LIKE" :)

    Incredible and you know what? That 6pm deadline goes for me now too.

  12. Hi!

    I really like your blog.

    I just started mine a few weeks ago, and i would really appreciate it if you read it and told me what you think.

    - Jill

  13. hey you! just wanted to tell ya that your love story is up today, just went up! xoxo hope you're having a great day

  14. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this post. I feel the same! And being from the middle of the "Bible-Belt" Republican South, I see way too many hateful and misinformed comments regarding Obama.
    I ignore them best I can-- but I too would love the nerve to post an update like any of the ones you listed above!!
    "Yes We Can!!"

  15. haha awesome post! Love the mafia wars shout out!


  16. um why dont i know you in real life?????

    ive just started reading your blog thanks to jasmine over at 'an experiment in poverty,' but this post just solidified you having me as a reader for life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  17. yeah i'm not on facebook anymore because i couldn't deal with it. i posted a note once about gay rights, why i was voting for obama and my opinion about media coverage of the election. it was something i wrote for the paper i worked for so it wasn't crazy or abrasive, just a well thought out editorial expressing my opinions. as a note, no one had to read it that didn't want to and i thought it was diplomatic enough to not upset anyone. well, i was wrong. a girl i grew up with wrote her own note as an RE: to mine and totally insulted me and called me out. a bunch of people i went to high school with replied and said really rude things about me. the whole thing implied that i didn't believe in god or care about families. they even called out personal things about me to use as fuel for their political rants. that coupled with the constant status updates did me in. there are just some things i don't want to know and some people i don't want to hear from.

  18. also, you make me laugh with your cleverness!

  19. I can't tell you how much I LOVE this post! You took the thoughts right out of my head and placed them on this little spot of the internets.

    I was sitting at my desk at work and literally laughed out loud. I LOVE when a post makes me do that!

    Oh, by the way...I'm Carolina...and I'm glad I found your blog :)

  20. ohmygod, this is the BEST post EVER. I'm so feelin' ya right now. U crack me up girl :)

  21. This is the best idea ever. I always toy around with ideas for bumper stickers that essentially say the same things, but FB seems to hit more people at once...people who claim to be my "friends". Hah.

    LOL awesome post!

    PS I've had "Don't Stop Believing" in my head for almost a month now. Not cool.

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