A girl and her waxer.
{A love story.}

Monday, November 16, 2009



So, I've been thinking about how to write this post for a few days now. There are many things I will never talk about on my blog just because it's not my style, but after much thought, I've decided the art of bikini maintenance isn't one of them. You see, last week, I had a friend date... with my waxer. Awkward? A little.

{Warning: If the words vagina or vajayjay make you uncomfortable, you may not want to read on. I'll understand, I promise. I have to put this warning out there, however, since my mother and my very favorite junior high teacher sometimes read this.}

From reading your blogs, it seems like a lot of us are struggling to make new friendships. Once we're out of high school/college/grad school, it can be harder and harder to find like-minded, loyal, sassy, fun, will-come-over-and-feed-you-ice-cream-when-you're-hurting kinda gals. Now, don't get me wrong, I have fantastic friends that I would jump in front of traffic for (you know who you are), but they don't live here in Las Vegas. And since I have a pretty unsocial job (just me and the kids I work with), it can be hard to meet people.

So, the other day, my bff Carina asked me to name my favorite people in Las Vegas. I rattled off a few friends of friends. Included Autumn Vegas, of course. Then I heard myself say out loud, "Oh, you know... Jenner. Jenner's parents. Jenner's dog. My waxer." Oh, man. That's when I knew I was in trouble. Carina had to tell me, "Um, Jenner and his dog don't count." Touche, Carina. However, I did excitedly shout out, "But I really do like my waxer! And we're going out next week." Long silence. "You're going out with your waxer?" Longer silence. "Yes."

I think it's safe to assume that we all feel a certain level of closeness and familiarity with our waxers. How could we not? I've had several waxers and for the most part, I've really liked them all.
  • Except for that one mean woman. I was actually afraid of her.
  • Oh, and then there was the time I accidentally told a bikini waxer that I was married because I couldn't understand what she was saying and before you knew it, I was embellishing on the story and explaining how my faux husband and I had just celebrated four years of marital bliss. That was weird, but seemed less awkward than explaining I had misheard her.
  • Oh, and then there was that other time I had four margaritas and saw my waxer out at a club and excitedly yelled out, "Hey, you're my vajayjay waxer!" Turns out, she wasn't. She was a classmate of mine in grad school. Whoops.

Okay, okay. So, I've mostly just really embarrassed myself with waxers. However, my new one is the best. I immediately liked her. We told each other far too much about our personal lives, laughed and I think we both even cried a little. (No, not because of the pain.) I knew right then and there, she just might have to be my new friend.

The question is: How do you ask someone if she wants to be your friend while she's tending to the maintenance of your nether regions? If you've been reading JASTG for long, you can probably guess that I did it in the most awkward manner possible. You know what? I probably did, but who cares. My new friend/waxer is also new to Las Vegas and we were both very excited about the possibility of a new girlfriend.

As I was getting ready to meet up with my new friend last week, Jenner asked me what we were going to do. I thought about it for a while and responded, "Well, we're going to have some tapas and some sangria and then I'll probably ask her to show me her vagina. You know, just to level the playing field."

No worries, dear readers. It was a great first friend date and nobody had to show the other their lady business.

25 comments:

  1. I love this post! And your honesty :) My friend Lindsey is always talking about her wax job, but not so much her waxer. I'm going to have to ask her if they are bff's.

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  2. haha awwww. great story. sometimes you really do make friends in the weirdest places. xo

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  3. haha this was a great read. It made me laugh so hard.

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  4. oh kathleen you are so funny! and i totally need to be brave and start getting waxed. i shave simply because i'm so scared of having a waxer! i guess it's not so bad after all...?

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  5. Oh my gosh, what a great story! It's right out of a Seinfeld episode!

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  6. Awww the waxer! So glad you had fun with her and didn't have to show the goods. Oops I mean see her goods...cuz she's seen yours.

    I'm just saying.

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  7. Thats is so fun! Kudos to you for making friends in unlikely places!

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  8. your story made ma laugh outloud; LOVE IT. I am with ya on needing to make some new girlfriends, and who really cares if they happen to have waxed your nether regions? At least you've got nothing to hide! (literally!)

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  9. What a hilarious, but oh so true post!

    I've seen cool looking people in bars before and wished I could channel the 5 year old in all of us, walk up to her and say, "You look nice can we be friends?" But at 28 years old something in me says, "Don't be creepy." So I continue to have long distance best friends. Alas...

    So congrats on being brave and finding a new friend!

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  10. Show me yours, and I'll show you mine. ;)

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  11. you are hilarious! i was actually very friendly with my old waxer! we would frequently go get a cocktail after if i was her last client (which i usually was because of work!). i can't remember how it all got started... my new waxer is all business and i don't see a friendship in our future lol!

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  12. I really need some new friend dates! My girls are scatttered all over the country and none are in Tampa!

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  13. So funny thing - I think I started reading your blog thru Jasmine's Experiment with Poverty blog linkage...and then I realized that I kinda know you as I think you were in Youth & Gov't in high school perhaps (I was in it 93-95)? I'm from Raymond, anyhow & so I definitely understand some of your posts about small towns. It's okay if you don't remember me, as this was all many moons ago.

    Oh, and another funny coincidence, I went to Jessica Porter's b-day dinner last year (maybe you know her too?), and I re-met your friend Carina there. And, I think it was your linkage to her site that really made the connection for me.

    Anyhow, this is now a really long comment, but I just had to note how really small the internet can be! By the way, I've always wondered what it would be like to LIVE in Vegas, not just visit, so thanks for answering that for me :)

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  14. Maija - I totally remember you! :) Ohhh, Youth & Government. I have pics of those trips to Oly. I'll bet you're in a couple! I'll have to go look... Oh, I definitely know Jessica. I have a picture of her in one of my posts. I think it was called "Best. Weekend. Ever." She and I were in the pool at the Seatac Marriott. Wow, small world. Thanks for commenting! Do you have a blog?

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  15. SO FUNNY!!!

    i love that you go out with your waxer :)
    and evening the field- HA! TOOO FUNNY. i would have joked and said it after a few drinks... just saying. hahaha i just have no shame like that sometimes.

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  16. I have a funnier waxer situation. One of my co-workers told me she was an esthetician and gave me her card. So I called her and asked her for an appointment to do a bikini wax. She even though she now works somewhere else, she tells me everytime she sees me "Just call me, Kathleen (yes that's my name too)." Its not weird at all.

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