The day I tweeted about Chris Brown.

Monday, December 14, 2009

I was perusing the internet earlier today and read that Chris Brown is angry with the music industry for not doing more to promote his album. Of course he is. I mean, what an injustice. There are people starving all across the globe, children dying of AIDS..., but none of that can compare to an entitled, privileged millionaire kid who beat up his girlfriend one night, pissed off everybody who loved his music and now has an album that nobody wants. That, my friends, THAT is truly sad.

(long silence)

I'm assuming you all noted the sarcasm here, right? Okay, great. Just checking. Let me be the first to say that I loved Chris Brown. His song "Forever?" One of my favorites and used to be the ringtone when my boyfriend called. I watched him on Oprah and listened to him talk about the violence in his home growing up. I felt for him. I think we all did. He seemed like such a good kid.

We all know what happened next... Like you, I'm sure, I didn't believe it. I didn't want to believe it.

Now this is not a post about hating Chris Brown. I don't know him and don't know what kind of person he is. If anything, Chris Brown is a victim of domestic violence. Violence is systemic. It is a learned behavior that is often passed down in families. Chris was likely acting out what he saw growing up. Does that make it okay? Everybody now, "Hell, no."

Today I read that Mr. Brown has been tweeting about his anger at his lackluster album sales. This is what he said... "I'm tired of this sh*t. Major stores r blackballing my CD... What the f--- do I gotta do?" Hmmm... What do you gotta do, Chris? Let's think about this for a second. First of all, I think all of the proceeds of this latest album should have gone to a charity focused on eradicating violence against women. Yeah, I said it. All of them. Second, I think I speak for most of us when I say we don't want to see pictures of you jet-skiing and laughing the same week you beat the sh*t out of your girlfriend. Let's see... What else? Well, since you asked, Chris... Most of us are tired of hearing you whine about how Oprah should have been nicer to you and how the industry can kiss your a**. These are just a few of my ideas about things you can do. Public relations according to me.

So earlier in the day, I got angry and tweeted this... "Dear Chris Brown, Stop whining. We're not buying your album because you beat women... and because you're an a**hole." Yeah, Mom, I said it. I didn't think it was a particularly controversial tweet. It turns out, I thought wrong. Within a minute, and no I am not exaggerating, I got bombarded with replies from strangers. Here are a few of the responses I received:

- "No... You're the asshole."
- "He beat 1 woman!!! Not women."
- "Rihanna beat him first."
- "WOW! He doesn't beat women, just Rihanna's dumb ass."
- "He beat one woman, b*tch."

My apologies. He beat one woman. I've never heard that used to praise someone before, but, um, okay.

To be honest, I was stunned by these responses and a little hurt, but - hey - I'm all for freedom of speech. It just makes me so sad - and angry - to think that in this day and age we tolerate this kind of dialogue about women and make excuses to defend perpetrators and abusers. Luckily, we can make a very powerful statement with our checkbooks. So, Chris Brown, this is why I will not be purchasing your album. I really hope you get the help you so need.

I think I'll end this post by quoting a text I wrote to my best friend Carina, "Word to the wise... Never tweet that Chris Brown is an a**hole. Unless, of course, you like being called a dumb b*tch." Just a little warning for my readers.



    I was shocked and disappointed today. Sometimes I forget that there really are people like that in the world. The whole "one woman" thing baffles me...

    I love what you said about the proceeds going to charity.

    I loved his music. But now I just want him to go away, grow up, get some help.

    This was excellent PR and I am an expert. :)

  2. How can people justify that because he hit one woman then that's ok? Some people just make me feel physically sick.

  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

  4. i think it's sad too... sometimes girls shock me but not even standing up for each other. don't worry about those angry tweeters! i used to love chris brown too, but i think he is just not very smart. he never seems genuinely sorry or even understanding of what he did that was wrong.

  5. What an arse. So if it's a wo-man that's cool but when he gets ghetto on wo-men, that's not cool? So dumb. Ha ha, blackball him until he gives all his money to charities who support victims, that still will never take away what he did. I can't stand him. I won't litter your comment page with expletives, but they're all between these lines.

    I feel bad for you receiving those stupid replies, they suck. But well done for saying it! xoxo

  6. There are so many stupid and rude people in this world...

    I completely agree....there are much more important things happening in the world. I don't follow celebrity gossip. I don't have time. I don't care. It's hard enough to keep up with real news to worry about this nonsense.

  7. WOW! how crazy!! Im totally on your page!
    UGH! some people..

  8. Well said! So sorry you got bombarded like that! I'm a little dumbfounded. First of all, domestic violence is rarely an isolated incident. And second, I can understand if people were telling you "he made a mistake, but his music is still good" or something like that... but to call you names and excuse him for violence? Unbelievable. I think it suggests more about the struggles in those writer's lives than anything. You still have lots of people in tweet/blog world who like you, especially when you speak out against violence! :)

  9. wow!i can imagine you weren't expecting these kind of responses...that's quite shoking!
    i guess a**holes do stick together...

  10. Wow, those people are really stupid for having said that to you. Who cares if it's just one person he beat? HE BEAT SOMEONE. They shouldn't have said that to you because you're right in why you feel that way. Brown must expect his sales to be that way, and he can't expect everything to run so smoothly after what he did. And those people who commented you that way. It's ridiculous, he still be someone! That DOES make him an a**hole and I don't get how they don't see that! UGH, now I'm angry at them! I'm so bothered by this reaction from them! Sslfksdfj!

  11. i couldn't believe that was the response that you got....unbelievable!

    well said, i don't know how someone couldn't agree with this.

  12. First of all-thanks a DOZEN for not only tweeting your thoughts, but writing them out here.
    It makes me FURIOUS when people don't see what the deal about him and what he did is. You're one person who is unknowingly attempting to change that mindset by simply writing down your thoughts-so let me just tell you how GRATEFUL i am to you for that.

  13. Thank you for being brave and standing up for what's right!

  14. Way to stand up for what is right!

  15. thank you for posting this! im so sick and disgusted when people try to defend his actions, as if 1 woman getting hit is better than a million. violence is NEVER the answer, violence is a vicious cycle and should never be upheld or defended. it is wrong for a man to beat a woman, it is wrong for a woman to beat a man. period. people who think he deserves better should realize that he never delivered a sincere apology to the public, because he made this incident public. he says hes tired of being treated like a monster, but he hasnt realized that seeing pictures of her bruised face has led us to paint him that way. he needs to seek serious help, and don't let his frustrations further ruin his career by tweeting something stupid and annoying. thank you for this post once again!

  16. AMEN.

    and eff you, chris brown, you little twerp. and while we're at it - eff you to everyone who tweeted back to kathleen calling her a bitch or an asshole. feel free to call me names. i'm better than you.

  17. Kathleen, you are 2 legit! I'm sorry you got hit with ignoramus comments like that. People troll around, just trying to instigate things like that. I also will not be buying Chris Brown's album. What it do?

  18. I read your tweet and was so appalled. Disgusting.

    And I love you even more for writing this.

  19. Oh man, I'm sorry you got bombarded by asshats. But I applaud you for writing him and calling him out on his his horrific behavior and his whiny ass for complaining about his lack of sales. Wah. I appreciate your constantly standing up for what's right, not enough folks do that nowadays.

  20. Just found your blog and love what you wrote. Chris Brown clearly did not learn that there are consequences for acting/being a dirtbag. It's sad and concerning that people can justify with "just one woman". Really? How many would it take? Two, three, twenty? I'm glad you put this out there, just sorry that people responded the way they did.

  21. For the love of all that is good and holy... Chris Brown can suck it. So can all of the people that think his actions are anything but deplorable. I love you, Bailey. There are ass-wipes in this world and you just happened to come into contact w/ a few. Shake it off and tweet on:)

  22. So if a man beats me, it's fine? I'm just one woman. Holy shiiiit, people-who-tweeted-back-at-Kathleen! I pray that those people never know an abusive relationship, I truly do.

    You are amazing...I just adore you, Sonny!

  23. Hi, I understand that everyone is angry and hurt but what about forgiveness? As Carrie said to Miranda in the SATC movie 'it's forgiveness isn't it?' For the record I don't condone violence of any sort and I'm strongly against it.
    Let me ask you: What if CB was your son? Or your nephew? Ruining his life or career doesn't solve the problem. He's going to live with this all his life!
    Also, the manner in which he chooses to spend his money is his business not yours. Just as the way you spend yours is your business. I think this smear campaign is enough. Life always has a way of getting back at people in situations like this. Just leave it! And leave him.

  24. Thanks for all the comments. I had a feeling this topic might work everybody up a little - just like it has me.

    Anonymous - Thanks for your comment and for stopping by my blog. You make a good point and I've asked myself what I would do if this were my son, my nephew, etc. However, I'm pretty sure I'd feel the same way. I would want my son to take accountability for his actions and for the consequences those actions brought on. I'd also want him to show genuine remorse and seek out the help he needs rather than blaming others. I appreciate your feedback, but this post wasn't intended to be about Chris Brown as much as it was about the responses I got from other people and the ways we condone this kind of behavior in this society. I think any dialogue about violence and the ways in which we tolerate it and make excuses for it is welcome. Especially here on my blog.

  25. This makes me so sad. I survived an abusive relationship (and let me tell you, survive is not a dramatic word--that's what it feels like) but so many women find themselves in that situation and can't get out. I know how lucky I was to get out relatively unharmed within a year, but many women are not that lucky. Sadly, I think part of the reason is because of this sort of mindset. The woman is at fault, she started it, it's not as bad as it sounds.. those are all common responses to this topic, and are also psychological responses that many abused women have to their situation. This needs to stop. We need to empower anyone who is being abused to remove themselves from that situation and if they can't do it themselves, we need to help them. This dialogue of hate and violence is getting us nowhere.

  26. Hi K. I appreciate your objectiveness to my response. It was a test and you passed with flying colours. You didn't say 'my son/ nephew would never do that'. Honestly, I tot you would.
    That said, CB is an idiot and a little prick. His problem is he thinks he still has us all in the palm of his hands. If he was asking a sincere 'wat do i hav 2 do question' then it'll be another matter. He's clearly not surrounded by very honest people.
    The people who responded to your tweets are epic idiots and you should do well to tell them such trash responses aren't appreciated there. If you want I have some colourful responses for them LOL.
    Have a great day and enjoy the weekend ahead.

  27. i so respect you for your posts like this. and i find it so disheartening that people would feel the need to respond to your tweet in such a manner. you have such a strong voice and good heart--so keep using it. it will always win out over those whose spirit isn't as great as yours. and nowhere did i see anything where he can't one day earn forgiveness...instead you issued a a bit of a challenge...saying now is the time for him to earn it...and you probably would say the say to your son, nephew, etc.

  28. Small Town Girl, You're my hero <3

    Love your blog and now LOVE YOU!



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