I Heart Pop Culture Tuesdays Vol. 3.
{A Girl and Her Gay Man: A Love Story.}

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Let's dig right in on this one.

Every girl has her go-to boy. And, no, I'm not talking about her boyfriend. I'm talking about her best gay male friend. Anybody who's anybody has one. If you don't, well, I'm not even sure why you're here. Honestly, if a girl doesn't have a gay male sidekick/soul mate, I'm just not sure we have anything in common.

You see... Next to every great woman is a great gay man. Period. The end.

Now I don't want to generalize here. There are all kinds of fantastic gay men and lots of them don't know a thing about labels or skincare. However, the gay sidekick is a particular kind of gay man. This is the guy who will hold your hand while your heart is breaking and then take you out for a cosmo and tell you how fantastic your hair looks.

This man has been captured on television and in film in some of my favorite roles ever. Like so many great Tuesdays before (okay, there were two), let's make a list.

- Ricky Vasquez - My So-Called Life

It's hard to leave out characters from My So-Called Life for any of my little lists. This show was beautifully written and acted. With the exception of Six Feet Under and Sex and the City, I can't think of better television. The show was iconic and so was the character of Ricky. He battled homophobia, homelessness and Rayanne Graff's teenage alcoholism. He had style and, man, he had heart. He made us cry and he made us dance.

- George - My Best Friend's Wedding

Rupert Everett played George in My Best Friend's Wedding and he stole the show from Julia and all that hair. The premise of this film is that Julia is in love with her best friend, but anyone who's ever seen it (that's pretty much all of us, right?) knows that her real best friend was George. George plotted with her to get her man, told her when she was acting crazy (because this is hallmark behavior for all sidekicks), advised her when it was time to walk away and comforted her when she finally did. And that's a best friend for you.

- Stanford Blatch/Anthony Marentino - Sex and the City

The heart of Sex and the City is the women and their friendships with one another. However, Carrie's love for Stanford and Charlotte's for Anthony should never be overlooked. Because Carrie is the star of SATC, one would assume Stanford is the shinier of the two sidekick characters, but I gotta tell you - I heart Anthony Marentino. Stanford's cute, but Anthony stole my love when he first screamed out, "I am sleeping and walking! Sleeping and walking!" Either way, these men were always their for our girls.

- Will Truman - Will & Grace

Will & Grace, more than anything else, was a love story. A love story between two best friends, between two soul mates. Finally, a television show got it right. This show wasn't about sexuality, it was about relationships. Gay or straight, love is love and these two had it.

As any GWAGBF (girl with a gay best friend) will tell you, there is no love like it. Even though it's Tuesday, let's push pop culture aside for just a minute and get a little personal...

{oldies, but goodies... and like all photos I scan, there are little pieces of dirt and/or hair scanned right on in}

I have my own sidekick/soul mate, Danny. I remember him from elementary school because he would rock his parakeet yellow jacket with a confidence I had never seen in another third grader. In junior high, we would exchange En Vogue CDs and by high school, he was recreating Kevyn Aucoin's makeup artistry on my face and making me sit through Mariah Carey's "Fantasy" video premiere (and then telling me - with tears in his eyes - how disappointed he was). He's known every boy I've ever cared about and made fun of almost every one. I knew Jenner just might be long-term relationship material when Danny met him and after five minutes said, "I love you, Jenner. I think I want a boyfriend just like you."

Ah, to have the unconditional love of a good (gay) man is a beautiful thing. I hope you have your own special someone or two.

Happy Pop Culture Tuesday! Tell me, do you have a best gay male friend/sidekick/soul mate?


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. I have had mine since we were in middle school... and I don't know what I would do without my Freddie!!! <3

  3. I love this post because for the past year, I've been telling my hubby I want/need a gay male BFF. So I am definitely on the market if you know of any in Chicago! :)

  4. I love both those pics of you and Tweeks! Those were good memories, I know - I was there and took the photos.;)

    "My Best Friend's Wedding" was a good shout-out, well done. Suddenly I miss P-mon...

  5. Will and Grace was definitely a gorgeous love story. It's all about the relationship whatever it looks like.

  6. I do!! I love my GBF, the fabulous ISTVAN. Who else buys me key lime martinis at the same time telling me how skinny I am and let's me get his green scarf wet with my tears.

    Thats love.

  7. I contest that Will and Grace is that greatest sitcom of all time. Maybe even greatest show. It is my favorite.

    Please meet Gregg...


    and Justin...


    The homosexual loves of my life:

  8. the* greatest, obviously. arg! i hate typos.

    but i love this post.

  9. Best. Post. Ever.

    And I mean that selfishly, because my best friend in the entire world (I call him my other half but that sounds too dramatic to most but not to you because I can tell you get it) is this exact person. He's my everything. The Will to my Grace. In fact, when I read your W&G excerpt, I nearly cried because that. Is. US.

    The sucky part is, he's in Chicago and I'm in Cali. Long distance blows.

  10. I have Trevor and he is seriously amazing. He cooks me spaghetti, and we dance to showtunes in the kitchen and look at Vanity Vair magazine. Also when he dresses in drag he looks like Selma Hayek.

    He's the most beautiful person I know, inside and out.

  11. I do not have a fabulous gay male best friend...yet. There is still time! And I love you for putting up Charlotte and Anthony, they are really one of my favorite duos on SATC!

  12. i don't...but i always wish i did!

  13. What a great post, I was a BIG fan of Ricky Vasquez. LOVED HIM!!

  14. i did growing up but they became more neurotic than me so it didn't work out :((

  15. So I know you asked me the other day if I'd read this post...and I had, I actually read it on my phone right after you posted it. It was too weird, John and I had just had a long, hard conversation about our Will & Grace-ness and then to read what you wrote...it totally made me cry. You know I have my Will.


  16. I seriously heart my gays.... He's my zazzie and I'm his vaggie. Shane is honestly the longest most stable relationship I have ever had. I know now through experience that if he does not approve of my boyfriend, chances are the bitch is right!

    I also LOVE Danny. He was the inspiration to fins a gay of my very own. ha!

    Cheers to us being fabulous women and to the men that help us see just how fierce we really are!

  17. im loving ur pop culture tuesdays feature. such a great idea! my best friend's wedding is one of my favorite chick flicks and george is definitely an awesome sidekick/bff:) great post!


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