The Bird Lady Strikes Again.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

{For the record, my bird lady looks nothing like this. Unfortunately.}

If you know me, then you know I live next to a crazy lady. Yeah, it's true. If you live on my street, you know exactly what I'm talking about. All you have to say is "bird lady" and people look at you with sympathy because you're the poor s.o.b. who has to live next door to the infamous woman. At first, I was cool with it. I mean, I work in mental health. Not only do I know crazy, but I honestly kind of like it. We've all got our issues, right?

Sure, she feeds all the pigeons in Las Vegas. Yes, she lets them in her house and they poop all over mine. It's annoying, but quirky. However, then she started calling me names (names I won't say here because my mother reads this blog and she raised me better than that) and calling my neighbors names and threatening any and everyone who came across her path.

Then the world's cutest children moved in across the street and she started bringing her crazy to them. Oh, no she didn't. (Oh, yes she did.) If you know me, you know I'll do anything to protect kids. Don't mess with them while I'm watching or you're going down. Got it? I guess the bird lady didn't get the memo. Well, I sent her a copy and as you can probably guess, she didn't like it one bit.

Earlier today as I was pulling up to my house, the bird lady struck again. My newest little friends, the neighbors, came running up to my car trying to warn me, but the bird lady was too fast. She flew around the corner cursing and screaming at me. Luckily I had my sister on the phone who now knows my stories about the bird lady are not in fact exaggerated (like a lot of my stories). Needless to say, it got a little heated, but just a small town girl knows how to stand up for herself.

This story ends with a little visit from the police. We had a nice little chat and the bird lady got herself a stern warning. I will tell you, however, I am afraid of the lady next door. Afraid of her erratic behavior and what might happen next. So, if you don't hear from me for several days, it's safe to assume the bird lady has struck again.

We've got it on paper now, though. And little does the bird lady know, I've got the blogosphere watching out for me.

In other news, I quit my job today. Oh, and in other-other news, I got my "before" bikini photo in the mail today. I immediately texted my trainer that I wanted to jump off a bridge, but she suggested I jump on the treadmill instead. Needless to say, tomorrow has got to be better. Right? Right.


  1. Oh dear this is crazy! My neighbors upstairs have been driving me nuts on and off since I moved in a few months ago. It makes me so sad to live under someones negativity and I feel like it is affecting MY mental health - mostly because then I feel like doing awful neighbor things to them in revenge! My goal is to not have to deal with immediate attached neighbors, apartment style in the near future. So far when Ive called the police it has done nothing :-/

  2. You are clearly from a strange country called Washington. That bird lady photo is pretty rad, almost as good as you in the totally 80's gym.

    Proud of you for standing up to that bonafide crazy lady. I just hope her helper pigeons don't peck their way into your bedroom tonight...

  3. You got crazy lady, I got lazy/disgusting students who leave 5-20 bags of trash OUTSIDE the communal trash chute on the floor. Like you, I was unafraid and call security, the condo manager, and the Environmental Agency here.
    You quit your job? What's next?

  4. I am going to grad school for counseling so I have a soft spot in my heart for crazy, too, but I'm so sorry you have to live next door to it! I hope things get better!

  5. Since I grew up in a small town, I know I can't escape the crazies there, but living in the city some days I fantasize about small town/rural life with a little more space between me & the neighbors. I LOVE urban life, but I do tire of the crazies and the generally disrespectful folks that I have to deal with.

    My neighbors like to blast their car stereo while they bbq in their yard. It's not really the music that's a problem, but the bass thumping (that's all I hear inside & it makes me feel CRAZY!). Aargh...anyhow, good luck, and I'm sympathetic.

  6. OMG. I know all about crazy neighbors - from men who wear red sequin suits to people who throw raves at 4am. But THIS takes the cake. If that bird lady gives you trouble, I will bring my Irish temper her way:)

    So, if you can, tell us what's next after the jobbity-job!!!

  7. Oh NO. Seriously? Seriously?! Bitch is CRAZY!

    And I hate to say it? But good for you for giving your 2 weeks at that job. I know you didn't like it and well, you deserve to be happy. Because you're the bestest. And yes. That is that.

    I'm seeing SATC 2 tonight, and I assume you are too. Expect a text later.

  8. yikes! scary neighbors are the worst! i used to live in a small apartment building with a guy with schizophrenia. he didn't have anyone regulating his medication for him (his dad was a doctor and just sent him meds each month). he got dangerous a couple times and i eventually found out our entire house was under 24 hr surveillance because he had threatened some big names in our town (the president of little debbie snack cakes). i felt safer knowing someone had our back at all times, but also mortified for my roommate who got locked out of the house one day and peed in the bushes. that probably became a favorite at the 24 hr surveillance christmas parties.

  9. That sounds like one heckuva day lady! So sorry about the freaktastic neighbor and job situation. I hope tomorrow is much brighter!

  10. Now the only thing that could possibly make this story better, is that the entire thing got filmed for a segment of COPS.

  11. Crazy bird lady sounds scary! Good for you for sticking up for yourself!

  12. YOUR ARE FREAKING ME OUT!! your neighbor is making me nervous! i hope they lock her up! unstable and kooky people are unpredictable! be careful!

    and if i saw a pic of me in a bikini i think i WOULD jump off a bridge! your trainer's response was perfect (and typical of that type!).

    hang in there!!! and be careful!!!!

  13. just wanted to drop a note I changed my url, I'm no longer summer is my favorite, I hope you still follow me!