Working Out, Eating Healthy,
Giving Up Cheese & Getting Angry.

Monday, May 17, 2010

{Do you guys ever forget, or lose sight of, why you started your blog in the first place? I know I sometimes do. You see, when I started this blog it was just for me and my closest friends and family. It was both an outlet and a way to stay connected to the people I love most. Then, somewhere along the way, I started reading other people's blogs and some of them started reading mine. How crazy is that? Although it's nothing short of amazing to have people outside of your family read your words, it can also be somewhat daunting. Anybody with me? Anybody? In some ways, an increased readership can change the landscape of the way we write. Sometimes the things we want to express aren't especially exciting or charming or witty, won't garner many comments, will put some people off, etc. My goal is to remember that I started this blog for me... and my mama. :) I know this is a little out of left field, but I needed to get it off my chest. Thanks!}

Last week, I started working out with these people. (Check out their client's before and after photos and you'll see why I had to join.) In our first meeting (where they weighed all of us and took our body measurements), I almost cried. They told us the ins and outs of the program and like the rebellious gal that I am, I took issue with most of it.

"Wait, you want me to give up bread?"
"You don't want me to drink for 30 days?"
"How strict are you about this whole no dairy thing?"

Yep, there's always one of me in a group. I find it very hard to follow rules unless I understand exactly why I should be adhering to them in the first place. So far, eight days in, my lack of bread is pretty painful. I find it hard to concentrate and I'm super moody (just ask my poor boyfriend). The no drinking thing would usually be fine because although I love a good cocktail or three, I'm not a big drinker. However, once you tell me I can't have something, I immediately want it. I swear, I almost took the group out for shots after that first meeting. Why? Because we weren't supposed to and that's reason enough for me. As far as the no dairy rule, let's be honest, I'm pi**ed off. I could easily trade in alcohol for the rest of my life if it meant I could have cheese. When I asked about this I was told, "Try going without dairy for a month and then try it again. I bet you won't feel very good." Um, yeah. That man clearly doesn't know me very well. My body might not like the cheese after 30 days, but my spirit sure as hell will.

{I should add that these rules won't apply after the initial 30 days. They will still be much more strict than I am used to, but not nearly this crazy. Supposedly, I'm in a detox phase and I believe it because, at least from a diet perspective, I think this might be what rehab feels like.}

Oh, and then there's the working out. I meet with my super bad ass trainer 3 to 4 days a week and am supposed to get around 6 hours of cardio a week on top of that. It's a major life shift and, to be perfectly honest, is taking all of my energy. I told Jenner this week, "I'm sorry, baby, I'm just too tired to be polite." Luckily for me, he's very understanding. As I told you in my last post, I had to text my trainer to ask her if it was normal that I'm in the exhausted, cranky, angry phase. Turns out, it is.

Last week was filled with humiliation at the gym. I hurt so badly one day that I got stuck with my sports bra up around my neck (sorry for the visual) in the locker room. I was literally stuck half naked for a good five minutes because it hurt too much to lift my arms up and pull the damned thing over my head. Oh, and then there was the swimming debacle. Yep, the first time I tried lap swimming. I actually turned to the woman in her 70's in the next lane and said, "My god, it's harder than it looks!" She just looked at me funny and kept swimming. Oops. Oh, and don't even get me started on getting my "before" photo taken in my bikini. The fact that I didn't immediately go and get myself a strong drink should be commended. Seriously, it should... Maybe you could clap for me. Just a little. Think about it.

All in all, it's been one hell of an experiment so far. In some ways I feel amazing, in other ways I want to punch myself in the face. Here's the deal though: these next three weeks are going to pass just as quickly whether I'm being good to my body or not. Why not try and see what happens? That's where I'm at with it all. Well, that and trying to finally pull myself out of the giant Cheeto bin I had fallen into in the last few months. So far, so good.

{photo via}


  1. Obviously, I know all this. And more. And couldn't be more proud of you if I tried. Also, on an insanely selfish note, I'm SO glad we're doing this together in a talking to you about my mac and cheese cravings and our love for brown rice gag.

    You're amazing, LOVE YOU SEE YOU SOON!

  2. that is so awesome you are working out so hard! i envy your dedication, i need some! and sometimes i forget why i blog, trying not to forget.

  3. OMG! I feel like I'm coming to Vegas at the wronggggggg time! haha You can't drink! I know you said you could cheat but I don't want you to cheat for me if you really shouldn't. I was just looking at the before and after pictures and I was in awwww, those people look incredible! No wonder you joined, Holy Crap!

  4. okay what you said about blogging is so true! i often have to remind myself that its MY blog, MY thoughts and feelings and i can say whatever I want to no matter what anyone thinks!

    ha ha. i hear ya! cleansing your body and getting things back to where they should be IS like rehab! at least you're doing things the "right way" instead of that danged hcg diet everyone thinks is so great but doesn't realize how really horrible it is on your body!

    good luck to you!

  5. I admire you for your dedication to not only wanting to make changes but also the "journey" itself, because what you are doing is HARD and takes a lot of guts!!! AND you are doing things the right way, which makes it all the more powerful. You are amazing!

  6. Congrats on your dedication to eating healthy and working out. We're trying to be better about this too. Sigh, ever since my metabolism slowed down and I realized all the illnesses I can avoid with a healthier lifestyle, I'm all for it.

  7. Biz, I'm laughing and loving reading about this exciting undertaking! Good luck, and stay with it. I remember having visions of offing my trainer, then going home with a six-pack and a bag of chips. Pretty soon you'll be kicking that workouts ass!

  8. Sometimes I get stuck in my bra too, even though I try not to work out. Don't worry about it Deet. I'm sure you're looking lovely, angry, but lovely.

  9. This is so exciting! I highly recommend the book Skinny Bitch. It will help you better understand the strict diet situation and get through it, I promise. You can do it!!! Can't wait to see the "after" picture. :)

  10. Um, you're amazing. I have so much respect. Seriously, SO much.

  11. BUT YOU CAN'T GIVE UP CHEESE WE HAVE TO GO TO SAN MARCO IN THE VENETIAN AND GET A BIG FAT CHEESE PLATE WITH A SIDE OF FOUR CHEESE PIZZA. Can't you just let that go for ONE meal? No? I understand. Except I don't. But really I do. I wish I had that much self-control. Sigh.

    Also, HIIII! Vegas! So! Soon! xo

  12. This is all going to be so worth it! Keep with it, I know it won't be easy (I too believe life is nice with some slices of cheese), but you are a trooper and I believe in you and know you will do wonderfully!

  13. You begin this post asking a fascinating question. I have no recollection of the reason for starting my blog. But I don't know who the hell I'd be without it.