There is a lot going on in my neck of the woods, a lot I would like to blog about and eventually will, but not today... You see, I have quit my job and am looking for a new one. I am planning a trip to Seattle in a few days. I had a lovely friend in town last week and we had the most fun, silly adventures together (many, many photos to come). I also had my one year anniversary with Las Vegas and that has given me a lot to think about... and a lot to celebrate. I'm still cheese-less and rather put off by the whole concept of diet and exercise at the moment, but I'm keeping at it, albeit angrily. Oh, and last but not least, a very overdue post dedicated to the amazing experience that was Bloggers in Sin City is coming.
... but again, not today.
Today is only for him.
Nine years ago today, we lost him... My father left our lives, and this world, on June 3rd, 2001. And none of us have been the same since. We are better and we are worse, we are more and less joyful, we cry more and we laugh harder, but we are not the same.
There are so many words I could write down here, but they are mine and I know that wherever my dad is, he knows them. He knows my heart. What I will say here is that I miss him with all of my being. And the missing him, while more quiet than it used to be, is always present.
Do you remember the scene in Grey's Anatomy (and, yes, it pains me to quote this show in a post dedicated to my father) when George lost his father? He turned to Christina and said, "I don't know how to exist in a world where my dad doesn't."
Truth be told, I still don't know how to exist in that world either..., but I'm figuring it out.
So, today, I will say that while I'm sad, I'm also aware of how unbelievably lucky I was to have a father who loved me so very, very much for 23 years. And Dad, wherever you are, I want to thank you for being the most generous, fun, good, loyal man I have ever known. I will miss you all the days of my life.
I loved you the day you left us, I love you today and I will love you forever. And when I someday see you again, I will love you still and finally, on that day, perhaps up in the sky, this incredible ache I have felt since you left will finally cease and we will be together. I hope on that day you will make me your famous chocolate milkshake.