My Year {in Tweets}.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010



Oh, Twitter. If nothing else, you provide countless hours of entertainment and procrastination. I recently looked through my past tweets (something only a person avoiding writing research papers at 4am would do) and thought it provided an interesting - and oddly accurate - look at my year.

So, here it is. A sampling of 2010. The good, the bad, the funny, the ridiculous - also known as a lot of talk about sushi, love and The Bachelor.

- Jan 6th - I honestly think I may have just met my fairy godmother and, no, I'm not kidding.

- Feb. 3rd - Rockin' a side ponytail and a smirk. It's just that kind of day.

- Feb. 16th - Suri Cruise is carrying an $850 bag?! File this under things that make me sick.

- Feb. 22nd - I just overheard myself say to my boyfriend, "Historically, 'The Women Tell All' episode is very important to the Bachelor franchise." Uh-oh.

- Feb. 28th - When I lose followers on my blog, I tell myself they must have died. Just kidding. Sort of.

- Mar 6th - It's safe to assume I'm the only person at the bar reading Michael Moore's letter to our president on my phone.

- Mar. 11th - My inner gay man is on fire! I love drag queens!

- Mar. 19th - My mother just asked me if I'm still going through a "Madonna phase." My reply? "27 years isn't a phase, it's a lifestyle."

- Mar 22nd - Life is too short to be friends with Republicans on Facebook.

- Mar. 23rd - Dear lady across from me at Coffee Bean - If I look uncomfortable, it's because you're STILL talking to yourself. Two words: volume control.

- April 2nd - Sitting outside in a straw fedora on a 67 degree day reading in the sunshine. My love of Vegas knows no end.

- April 16th - My nine year old client just said, "I wish Justin Bieber was my brother."

- May 10th - Just took my first Zumba class. Can't decide if that was the best or most demoralizing hour of my life.

- May 16th - At a karaoke contest to support my client's parents. Someone just performed "Ridin' Dirty" and dedicated it to..., wait for it..., his family.

- May 18th - Nobody puts Bailey in the corner.

- May 29th - I'm in love with Huey Lewis. Apparently it's also 1984 and I'm six years old.

- June 5th - There are some moments, small pockets of time, where everything is perfect. And in these moments, you are healed and happy and whole.

- June 11th - Filled with sushi, Seattle and joy.

- June 22nd - Well, it had to happen eventually... Today I cried at the gym. Feels less like a social and physical fail and more like a rite of passage.

- June 24th - Bonded with a stranger at the grocery store over the Jake/Vienna split.

- June 30th - Sometimes I feel like my boyfriend and I just started dating because he still gives me butterflies.

- July 6th - My mother tried to convince me this morning that lol means lots of love.

- July 11th - Sometimes I wish I could go back to my former, younger self and whisper in her ear, "Someday you will be so happy."

- July 13th - Dear Mel Gibson, No thank you. From now until forever, no f*cking thank you. Please take your violent, racist, sexist self elsewhere.

- July 21st - When Jenner came to bed last night, he said, "I like how it looks like you have a mullet right now." Thanks, baby.

- July 24th - You know you're getting older when you say, "You have to check out my cool new knee brace."

- July 27th - Major. Setback.

- August 4th - Dozing in the sunshine on a deck overlooking the bay. Feeling so at peace. Hometown happy.

- August 19th - Spencer Pratt is writing a tell-all about Heidi? Should be really riveting stuff. Um, or not.

- August 24th - Sometimes all you can do is get through.

- Sept. 2nd - Bought my first pair of Converse in fifteen years today.

- Sept. 4th - Sometimes a gal's gotta put on too high of heels and dance until 3am to remember she's not 23 anymore. My feet hurt.

- Sept. 16th - I would like to thank everyone who made this Yama Sushi mayorship possible. Oh, and I have to unbutton my jeans because of all this sushi.

- Oct. 1st - The doctor reports that as I was coming out of anesthesia, I sat up and yelled, "I LOVE TECHNOLOGY!"

- Oct. 9th - The great thing about not wearing makeup for a really long time is that when you do, you look in the mirror and think, "Damn, I look good."

- Oct. 22nd - I miss my mother so much it hurts.

- Oct. 31st - I haven't had this much glitter on my face since the 90's.

- Nov. 5th - Who decides to work the weekend graveyard shift at a psychiatric hospital?! Um, me. Seriously rethinking this right about now.

- Nov. 19th - Dear Life - You've been trying to bring me down lately, but it's not going to work. Nice effort, though. Love, Kathleen

- Nov. 22nd - I sure love this boy. My worst times are better than my best times before I knew him.

- Dec. 3rd - While my doctor was injecting me with a cortisone shot near my bum, he was loudly singing "Welcome to the Jungle." Um, I was disturbed.

- Dec. 6th - To the man holding the Viagra sign on the corner, I'm sorry. In these economic times, you're keepin' on. Also, I liked your Santa hat.

- Dec. 19th - Then I took that muscle relaxer, forgot my middle name and passed out on the couch at 8:45pm. Good night.

- Dec. 24th - Yes, I just got out of bed at 3:30am, tiptoed downstairs and ate a chocolate Santa (or two). It's Christmas Eve, cut me some slack.

- Dec. 28th - It's official: Life is looking up.

5 comments:

  1. These are fabulous... I must say that the republican/facebook tweet was quite possibly my favorite though! ;)
    I'm not much of 'twitterer' but reading these makes me want to log back in to my dormant account.
    Here's to an even better 2011!

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  2. This made me smile and laugh! You're one of my Twitter favorites, for sure. What a year :)

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  3. haha! i laughed out loud more than once. i think my favorite is your anesthesia declaration of how you love technology. hilarious! what a year...

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