My Year {in Tweets}.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Oh, Twitter. If nothing else, you provide countless hours of entertainment and procrastination. I recently looked through my past tweets (something only a person avoiding writing research papers at 4am would do) and thought it provided an interesting - and oddly accurate - look at my year.

So, here it is. A sampling of 2010. The good, the bad, the funny, the ridiculous - also known as a lot of talk about sushi, love and The Bachelor.

- Jan 6th - I honestly think I may have just met my fairy godmother and, no, I'm not kidding.

- Feb. 3rd - Rockin' a side ponytail and a smirk. It's just that kind of day.

- Feb. 16th - Suri Cruise is carrying an $850 bag?! File this under things that make me sick.

- Feb. 22nd - I just overheard myself say to my boyfriend, "Historically, 'The Women Tell All' episode is very important to the Bachelor franchise." Uh-oh.

- Feb. 28th - When I lose followers on my blog, I tell myself they must have died. Just kidding. Sort of.

- Mar 6th - It's safe to assume I'm the only person at the bar reading Michael Moore's letter to our president on my phone.

- Mar. 11th - My inner gay man is on fire! I love drag queens!

- Mar. 19th - My mother just asked me if I'm still going through a "Madonna phase." My reply? "27 years isn't a phase, it's a lifestyle."

- Mar 22nd - Life is too short to be friends with Republicans on Facebook.

- Mar. 23rd - Dear lady across from me at Coffee Bean - If I look uncomfortable, it's because you're STILL talking to yourself. Two words: volume control.

- April 2nd - Sitting outside in a straw fedora on a 67 degree day reading in the sunshine. My love of Vegas knows no end.

- April 16th - My nine year old client just said, "I wish Justin Bieber was my brother."

- May 10th - Just took my first Zumba class. Can't decide if that was the best or most demoralizing hour of my life.

- May 16th - At a karaoke contest to support my client's parents. Someone just performed "Ridin' Dirty" and dedicated it to..., wait for it..., his family.

- May 18th - Nobody puts Bailey in the corner.

- May 29th - I'm in love with Huey Lewis. Apparently it's also 1984 and I'm six years old.

- June 5th - There are some moments, small pockets of time, where everything is perfect. And in these moments, you are healed and happy and whole.

- June 11th - Filled with sushi, Seattle and joy.

- June 22nd - Well, it had to happen eventually... Today I cried at the gym. Feels less like a social and physical fail and more like a rite of passage.

- June 24th - Bonded with a stranger at the grocery store over the Jake/Vienna split.

- June 30th - Sometimes I feel like my boyfriend and I just started dating because he still gives me butterflies.

- July 6th - My mother tried to convince me this morning that lol means lots of love.

- July 11th - Sometimes I wish I could go back to my former, younger self and whisper in her ear, "Someday you will be so happy."

- July 13th - Dear Mel Gibson, No thank you. From now until forever, no f*cking thank you. Please take your violent, racist, sexist self elsewhere.

- July 21st - When Jenner came to bed last night, he said, "I like how it looks like you have a mullet right now." Thanks, baby.

- July 24th - You know you're getting older when you say, "You have to check out my cool new knee brace."

- July 27th - Major. Setback.

- August 4th - Dozing in the sunshine on a deck overlooking the bay. Feeling so at peace. Hometown happy.

- August 19th - Spencer Pratt is writing a tell-all about Heidi? Should be really riveting stuff. Um, or not.

- August 24th - Sometimes all you can do is get through.

- Sept. 2nd - Bought my first pair of Converse in fifteen years today.

- Sept. 4th - Sometimes a gal's gotta put on too high of heels and dance until 3am to remember she's not 23 anymore. My feet hurt.

- Sept. 16th - I would like to thank everyone who made this Yama Sushi mayorship possible. Oh, and I have to unbutton my jeans because of all this sushi.

- Oct. 1st - The doctor reports that as I was coming out of anesthesia, I sat up and yelled, "I LOVE TECHNOLOGY!"

- Oct. 9th - The great thing about not wearing makeup for a really long time is that when you do, you look in the mirror and think, "Damn, I look good."

- Oct. 22nd - I miss my mother so much it hurts.

- Oct. 31st - I haven't had this much glitter on my face since the 90's.

- Nov. 5th - Who decides to work the weekend graveyard shift at a psychiatric hospital?! Um, me. Seriously rethinking this right about now.

- Nov. 19th - Dear Life - You've been trying to bring me down lately, but it's not going to work. Nice effort, though. Love, Kathleen

- Nov. 22nd - I sure love this boy. My worst times are better than my best times before I knew him.

- Dec. 3rd - While my doctor was injecting me with a cortisone shot near my bum, he was loudly singing "Welcome to the Jungle." Um, I was disturbed.

- Dec. 6th - To the man holding the Viagra sign on the corner, I'm sorry. In these economic times, you're keepin' on. Also, I liked your Santa hat.

- Dec. 19th - Then I took that muscle relaxer, forgot my middle name and passed out on the couch at 8:45pm. Good night.

- Dec. 24th - Yes, I just got out of bed at 3:30am, tiptoed downstairs and ate a chocolate Santa (or two). It's Christmas Eve, cut me some slack.

- Dec. 28th - It's official: Life is looking up.


  1. These are fabulous... I must say that the republican/facebook tweet was quite possibly my favorite though! ;)
    I'm not much of 'twitterer' but reading these makes me want to log back in to my dormant account.
    Here's to an even better 2011!

  2. This made me smile and laugh! You're one of my Twitter favorites, for sure. What a year :)

  3. haha! i laughed out loud more than once. i think my favorite is your anesthesia declaration of how you love technology. hilarious! what a year...