Better Late Than Never.
{When Exes Apologize.}

Friday, August 12, 2011

Did anyone catch the second season premiere of Bachelor Pad this week? {It's okay. I know you planned your Monday evening around it and caught all three so-bad-they-were-good hours, but don't want to admit it. I completely understand and want you to know your secret is safe with me.} What did you think of Jake trying to make peace with his ex, Vienna? I know, I know. In the scheme of the game, it was probably a really bad move. I didn't notice many scenes with Jake in the "this season on Bachelor Pad" preview and can't help but think the uncoolest man in the history of the Bachelor franchise sealed his fate as the guy who goes home in the second episode with that little olive branch - er, rose - he handed the woman he was once engaged to.

Now call me a sucker (actually please don't, it's really not very nice), but I appreciated Jake's "I'm sorry I yelled at you on national television" speech. Sure, I don't know if it was part of his game strategy, a smart PR move or an emotion actually founded in sincerity and, honestly, I don't even care. Why? Because I am a firm believer in the art of the apology.

We've all been done wrong and, let's just keep it real here, we've all done our own share of wrong. In the game of love, nobody comes out completely innocent. I pride myself on being what I consider a pretty good person, but I've been guilty of being more careless with people's hearts than I should have on occasion. To find the love we've been waiting for, we have to say goodbye to people along the way. Sometimes these goodbyes are messy and often, without meaning to, we eff up our good intentions and leave people hurt. I may have never lost my cool in a televised interview, but if a camera had been around during a few of my heartbreaks, you damn well better believe I would have. So, the question is, what do we do after the dust settles and - maybe even years later - we realize we were unkind, unfair or selfish? Well, as we learned back in kindergarten, we apologize. We own up to our bad behavior and take responsibility.

A couple of months ago, I was on Facebook and found a message waiting for me. When I saw who the sender was, I gasped. It was from a fellow I had dated EIGHT years ago, a man that - although I consider myself a very forgiving person - I still referred to as "the devil." What in the hell was the devil doing messaging me? You got it. He was apologizing. And you know what? It felt good. I deserved it eight years ago, but - hey - better late than never.

The moral of this story? I know I had one... Oh, yeah. Apologize when necessary. Even if it's eight years later. Whether it costs you a reality television competition or just your pride, it's worth it. To Jake, I might be the only one saying it, but well played. To the man I used to call the devil, thanks. I hope you no longer wear socks with sandals. It really wasn't a good look.