Dear Lindsay Lohan.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Dear Lindsay,

I know you've had a busy day, but you know what? I've had a busy day, too. You see, I have this thing called a job. I know it's been a while and you may no longer remember what that word means, but you used to have one of these, too.

Here's the thing, Linds. Everybody loves a comeback. Look at Britney. She consisted on a diet of nothing but Cheetos and crazy for years and somehow managed to pull it up a notch. Girlfriend even shaved her head and still shimmied her way back into our good graces. Look at you, you still have all your hair and that's gotta count for something (although the state of your teeth suggest a problem that can probably only be solved by Dr. Drew).

Here's the other thing, freckles. Even though we love a comeback, I think I can safely speak for everyone when I say we're sick of your shit. The denial. The endless excuses. The entitlement that is nothing short of egregious. Get your act together, take some accountability and fight for the life most of us can only dream of.

Oh, and good luck.

Best, Kathleen


  1. Also, Lindsay, you look like you wiped dirt on your face. Wipe it off.

    She's a disaster.

  2. I hope she makes a comeback :( She's such a total mess right now.