Dear Violet.
{Month One}

Friday, July 20, 2012


Dear Violet,

Before I became your mother, I thought about the kind of mom I someday hoped to be. For example, I wanted to take you on road trips, just the two of us, the way your grandmother once did with me. Trips where we would talk for hours on the open road about life and ideas. I wanted to have movie nights every Friday where we ignore our weekday rules and eat too much candy and laugh late into the night. I also wanted to write you a letter every month of your early years.

So, here I am, writing you the first of what will become many letters. Road trips and movie nights will come, but for now, I give you my words, knowing that words can never capture the depth of love, adoration and awe I feel for you, my baby girl.

This first month has been unlike any other I have ever known. Several nights after first bringing you home, I rocked you and wept. I cried in the dark, clutching you to my chest, because the enormity of my love for you was so overwhelming. In that beautiful, terrifying moment, I knew I would never be the woman I was before you came into the world, before loving you forever transformed my heart. And, Violet, I am so humbled by, and grateful for, the experience of being your mama.

You have been my angel baby this first month, little girl. While I was busy finding my footing as a new mother and trying to cope with the exhaustion of the first few weeks, I was enamored with your calming, sweet presence. On the day before your one month birthday, you looked up at me and for the briefest of seconds, you flashed me a smile. Not an I-just-passed-gas smile or a drunk-on-milk smile, a real smile at your mom. I thought my heart might burst with love in that perfect moment on that lovely afternoon.

You are my heart, Violet. Your dad, your furry brother Samson and I are all so lucky to have you.

I love you, I love you, I love you.

Love, Mama

 

{photos taken at ten days by photographer Crecia Page}